If you read my tumblr, then judge me, feel free to take yourself to someone else’s page. These are my innermost thoughts that I’m bravely posting on the internet for the entire world to see. And DEFINITELY don’t go off telling someone what I’ve written on here. There’s a reason I don’t post my username for every one of my friends to see. Carry on.
i know love. i’ve seen her- we are friends. i believe in her and even though we fight sometimes, in the end she always pulls through for me when i need her and for that, i’m grateful.
right now, we are not on the best of terms. i feel like i have a bone to pick with love. i am watching one of the most difficult things i have ever had to watch. i am watching the person who taught me about love, the person who introduced us, i’m watching her fall apart.
it sucks. because, having finally learned to believe in something, i have to watch it be tested in this way, and i don’t know whats going to happen, or how, or why its happening. why would love, our sweet, gentle, loyal friend, desert one of her own? how could she? how could she stand by and let this happen to someone with so much faith in her?
it is unfair. it tears me up and it makes me wonder- have we all misplaced our trust, our hope, faith and belief? it makes me wonder why we’re all out to befriend such a fickle, fickle bitch. if she could just chose to take a rain-check on us like this, when times get hard.
i think, we can be very hard on love. we expect so much. we want to salvage our relationship so badly, that we refuse to let her off the hook even when its not entirely her fault. we look at love, and ask her why.
we need to not blame ourselves, we need to not point fingers. we need to understand the nature of love, we need to understand how she works and why. because otherwise, we are bound to be let down. we need to understand that she is around simply, to entertain us. to make her presence felt. perhaps comfort us, and reassure us. in the end, we wallow in the belief that she will not, cannot, hold you together when you need her most. that is because we are blind.
we are a dependent society and i find it sad. i love love. i love the boy i’m talking to, i love my family, and i love my friends. hell, i love my fuzzy gray beanie that will probably never be returned to its rightful owner… i love love. but i have a healthy fear, an acknowledgment to the fact that she is liable to drop out from beneath my feet at any moment. the future is not promised us.
we need to stop running, blindfolded by love. we need to accept that things change, and accept love from wherever we can get it, even if its not where you want it to come from. we need to let our friends love us. let our parents, pets, and hobbies, love us. because when you lose one source of love, you’re going to wish you had another.
love, where are you when we need you? the truth is, she’s right there. we are just too absorbed to see her, because she takes a form that we may not necessarily be in the mood for. but she is there. she is always there. and she may not love you. but you need to love her.
“Apparently, it used to be extremely common for families to have two parents. They stayed together because that’s what all the other parents did. Now there are so many options, so many different ways to be a family. So many ways to rip a family apart.”—Susane Colasanti, So Much Closer
And the truth is that I actually loved you. And the truth is that I actually believed you loved me too. But the funny thing about the truth is that there’s always a hurtful lie waiting to be set free to ruin your happiness. That lie, that you loved me no more than the effort you put into telling me.
“Spending time with you showed me what I’ve been missing in my life. The more time we spent together, the more I could imagine it lasting in the future. That’s never happened to me before, and I’m not sure it’ll ever happen again. I’ve never been in love with anyone before you came along — not real love anyway…not like this. And I’d be a fool if I let you slip away without a fight.”—Nicholas Sparks, The Choice (via simply-quotes)
I just want to let you know that I’ll never forget that night. For once in my life, everything was perfect. The way we danced, how you held me close, the song — everything. The memory will forever live in my heart. And even though I know it was all just a lie, I’ll never forget the way you made me feel. And somewhere inside I’m content knowing that, even if for that one night, I had you.
“You were the first nice guy I met after so many bad ones. And I didn’t know if you were the one or just the first good one, so I went out and met some more guys. Some of them were fine, but none of them were you.”—
I’m not wishing terrible things on you. I hope you stay safe, and I hope that the people you are with care about you like I do. I want you to be happy, and I want you to be doing what you love. But I’d like you to never forget me. Maybe it’s true what they say; there are those people you encounter in life who you never really get over. No matter how many other better people you meet, people who treat you better and love you better, in the back of your mind, there is always that person you can’t quite completely forget.
- Having sex every day. - Saving sex for your wedding night. - Never having sex. - Having sex with different people. - Having sex with one person. - Having sex with a person of your same gender. - Loving sex. - Hating sex. - Being loud. - Being quiet.